10 Weirdest Things People Have Donated to Goodwill (Pug Hugs 1/22/14)

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10 Weirdest Things People Have Donated to Goodwill

(Donated, not necessarily made it to the shelves)

 

  1. Custom made photo blanket with someone’s face on it – I can’t imagine someone would get rid of a blanket with their own face on it.  I could never do that.  Even if it it was a bad picture.  So I’m picturing a wife who got a divorce, she got rid of everything with her ex husband’s face but she remembered paying $80 to have the blanket made and couldn’t bear to just throw it away. Who did she think would buy that?  Just put it in the dog’s crate. 
  2. Prosthetic Leg – Aren’t prosthetics custom made?  Maybe they got a shiny new leg and thought there was a one legged person out there who didn’t care about a snug fit. It could also be used for pranks.  Put a sock and shoe on it and leave it sticking out from under your bed when you bring a suitor home. 
  3. OB/GYN Chair with stirrups taped to the side – This is one of my favorites.  Anyone who buys these needs to be added to the sex offender list.  It was nice, I’m sure that cost a lot.   I’d expect to see it on Craigslist but it was sweet of them to donate it. There’s a midwife out there starting up her own business who was thrilled to find that chair. 
  4. Dentures/teeth filled with gold fillings – Used dentures are trash.  I have to assume the person that was attached to them is now dead.  Who just gives away gold-filled teeth? Were these donated by a grave robber? 
  5. Granny girdles – Sweet granny lived through the depression and never threw anything away.  She knew there was a porky little middle schooler out there coming into her body who would appreciate these girdles. 
  6. 30 lbs of Mardi Gras Beads – This was something I donated.  I worked hard to earn all those beads, I couldn’t think of just dumping them in the trash.  I hoped someone going to mardi gras or having a party would buy them. They cost a lot at the party store.  But I didn’t see the point in holding on to them.
  7. Live hand grenade – Call in the bomb squad.  Oh I have all this old extreme prepper stuff leftover from when I thought the world was gonna end along with the Mayan calendar.  I don’t need this anymore, along with all my gas masks and 50 pound cans of creamed corn. 
  8. Old refrigerator with food still inside – Gross.  Burn it with fire. 
  9. Live baby desert owl – Awesome animal, but why would you think it was okay to take to Goodwill?  Do you think they have volunteers trained to handle wild birds of prey.  Oh sorry, our owl guy just left, the only person here today is the falconer.  This isn’t Hogwarts….we don’t have an owlery.  
  10. Urn with human remains – What a slap in the face! Not only did this person not have a grave but they didn’t even have a spot on the mantle next to dust covered silk flowers.  That does bring up an interesting question, are you supposed to pass down ashes to your children? I don’t know. When I die you can just throw my body into a ditch. They could at least scatter the ashes over a pond and run the urn through the dishwasher. 

5ive Things That Got Me Through The Week

Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn

This book is 500 pages of Snapped and all my favorite Lifetime Movies without any of the D-list acting or eyewitness accounts.  Word on the street is they are shooting the movie for this book in Cape Girardeau, Missouri.  Before you hate Ben Affleck as Batman, you can hate him as a possible wife killer in Gone Girl.

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That Time of the Month – Rocky Starts 

Storytelling is a hilarious heartfelt medium and the best part is anyone can do it. We all have stories.  This month the theme was Rocky Starts, which I obviously interpreted as Shit Show Short Stories.  It was nice to hear everyone’s stories and know that I’m not the only shit show.  Submit your story to timeofmonth@gmail.com.

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Taking my brother to get his Driver’s License

Colton has been driving backhoes and bobcats since he was six, but finally he can do it legally! He even got 100% on his test which according to high school chatter is unheard of.  I made sure to get a good look at his face since I probably won’t see him much now that he has wheels and a can legally operate them.

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Game of Thrones

Big thanks to Zach’s parents for giving us their HBO GO password.  We started and got caught up on Game of Thrones and HOLY SHIT! I finally understand what all the fuss is about.  I’m eagerly waiting for Season 4 in April to watch the rest of my favorite characters get slaughtered.  Now i’m hellbent on the idea of a “Medieval Times” style restaurant but with lots of blood, gore and NO MERCY!

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Squeezing out every last drop of Birthday

It was hard to narrow it down to five things on my birthday week, but I was surrounded by good friends and fun all week.  What a great start to the year! How do you choose between a painful pedicure given by an angry middle aged Vietnamese man and getting recognized at the Cheesecake factory?  Or being brought homemade cupcakes with fresh duck eggs by Mary or being serenaded while onstage.  Or laughing at the attention starved family at a group reading from a medium or gorging on 2-4-1 pizza slices.  I got tons of gifts, phone calls, online posts, texts, and well wishes from so many people.  Or maybe my fave was the hibachi chef spelling ” I <3 U” in rice veggies and scrambled eggs.  I can’t choose just one, but i know I milked my birthday week for all it was worth.

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